Saturday, January 07, 2006;10:00 pm **crisis core**
lol
Parting is one of man's pet peevee. Well I guess its mine too. Saw her online. Was very awkward initially. To tell you the truth, I still blame her. But what can I say? Be grace and let her go. Why do I have to hold her back just to make mysef happy? But am I happy now? I don't know. And I don't wish to know. We chatted online. Quarrelled actually. Was it my fault? I couldn't bother to explain. My mind was all about how to make her happy when we were having the break. I thought it through. That I should be nicer. That I should change. Maybe she didn't like some parts of what I have change. But I was Wrong. So wrong. It was all decided. Since the thailand trip. I should not have scolded her. I should not have asked her to meet me. Though I wanted to take care of her and see if I could be of any help. But I was misunderstood. As a selfish, deperate boyfriend who wants to meet his girlfriend. Haven't I changed enough? Maybe not. Maybe its never enough. Because all humans are hungry. Never satisfied. Take things for granted. Just like what I was in the past. Thanks for the lesson learnt. To be tolerant and forgiving under all circumstances. To demand for something that I would never ever do but I tried for you. I didn't even change that much for my parents. Thanks for changing me and giving me false hopes.
At least there was a hope once before. Though the candle of hope flickered and finally ceased to serve its purpose by giving you warmth.