ARGHHH!!!!!!!! i got realli nice shots of myself jus now... haha.. i spent my day doin PS.. personal statement.. oni do stuff tt r v v pressin... whee... so tired... din go cb today.. cos tired.. hahah.. i end sch so late. sad.. i got 18 /30 for math.. n the teacher said.. those who got below 21 can consider droppin math s... wth... i correct de lor... oni alot careless.. i tink alot of ppl in my class hates me man... esp the gals.. shall not sae who.. sae i v mug.. fine la.. i shall be labelled s a mugger... haha. hai ya.. din get to mug w zav today... lol.. i was smsin him in the mornin then suddenly his gf replied me... sayin tt she'd kill me!!! lol.. she thinks we r gay lor.. lol.. he's a v v gd fren of mine thou we oni knew each other on SAT.. haha... but tt's wad gd frens are made of.. true friendship.. not bounded by time.. wahhaha... so tired...

April ah... no reply when i msg u... ok i noe u exceeded ur msg so i wasn't realli bothered... so realised i called u in the end.. haha.

Oh.. talked to shi jus now.. mm.. cheerios gal... dun stress... yay! now everyone is back to normal le.. tink cos exam so everybody stressed... haha.. relax.. bleagh i nd a break thou.. tired tired n tired... its near 10!! i shall b v v guai.. slp early.. tml mug more... wahahha... i shall do revision now le...stoppin my tutorials..
:)

today was v sad... in the mornin.. well dun wish to talk abt it.. cried... den i went to temple to pray... cos this year i fan tai sui rmb? ate deli b4 tt.. yes again.. haha. v full.. i brought my cam along so took some fotos... i cut my hair... k the photos was taken b4 the hair cut.. even i cut oso no diff.. cos i tink now my hair stil ok.. haha.. not lyk last year.. haha... astro boy.. den i went cb to find shu jeff n zavier.. hah.. ok... got to noe 3 new frens again... haha.. clara.. shu's junior.. constance... shu's senior and elaine, zavier's fren... ok zavier.. i tok to him today...

was so fun.. he's lyk hav the same personality s me.. wa.. so happy i found a new fren.. den shu was v sad today.. act i was sad tt's y i went cb today.. but tt's besides the pt.. then it was lyk revelations and confessions.. everyone shared their stories.. it was realli v personal.. n i felt so in place.. i found real frens noe..

then, b4 we went home.. shu was playin w my earring... and... it went whee to the floor!!! it was v special to me la!! i was lyk... my heart plopped... den we couldn't find it... then i went to popular for a walk.. wanted to find a file.. but i cant find in the end... so i went back... was abt to go home.. den shu said open ur hand... den it turned out to be the earring la!! omg.. thou it was constance who found it.. so shu ah... u still owe me 1... but i felt so much better.. realli... k.. i'm gg to mug chem spa now.. sian.. havent started...

oh ya... when we were eatin deli... we discussed stuff abt ghost n dreams... was v scary... shu hav visions... n haha.. she's afraid of the park... lol.. clowns n all.. well we all agreed that clowns r scary.. esp in the nite.. n i had goosebumps all over....

Ok.. this goes out to all who said my blood type is B... I seriously tink so too! lol... mm... its lyk.. kinda matches.. n its lyk we r discussinh durin lunch today.. me shu n liy... den liy keep puttin words in to our mouth... haha.. den shu's blood type is A.. well if u watch the show.. the gal's cousin said gals w blood type A n guys w blood type B jus cant get together! c'mon liy! haha... B guys will suck type A gals dry.... lyk a vampire.. lyk a pitcher plant.. traps them n suck them til they r left w nth! lol.. omg.. i jus degraded myself!! haha... whee... B guys.. well... On fri we watched tt movie la.. b4 tt we had a stats report on BGR... well i'm in the minority! cos they sae... 83% of ppl started their rlnship at the age of 12-18...

Noe y? cos i start at 11! lol... n i said tt so loudly! the front row 6A ppl turn back n looked at me... lol.. haha... it was dem embarassin.. =S but v funny la.. hahah...

lol... today was super duper fun!! haha... i went pre u sem meeting in the mornin... k i noe gavel was screwed... but nvm.. haha... aft tt chem was borin.. the fun part comes when i went cb!! lol... was w liy n shu.. shu la... vandalised my hand... does any1 noe wad's a malay hand.. tt's was wad my hand was being describe as.. lol... went deli to eat... my treat cos i was jus too nice a person..


haha.. shi, cnd n sam.. u guys jus missed the chance.. ask u all wanna eat not u all keepin thinkin i bluff u all.. haha.. durin chem i was so tired, den shu was so sweet.. she wrote me a note tt goes:Cheer Up Dude! haha. realli got me out abit.. then i made new frens at cb today.... jeffrey from sa n zavier from pj!! omg.. tell u.. s'pore is so dem small! haha... was lyk.. jeff was from kranji.. n my 1st ex was his ex classmate! lol... den he noe abt css frens oso.. den zavier's from bp... wa... edison, karla, yee wen... all he noe too...haha..

The best part is jeff said sumting abt SA... this i muz publicise.. haha. he told me to..

well this is wad happened. A couple was caught kissing n necking at a void deck near SA.. they were SA students la! they were so engrossed in makin out they were oblivious abt ppl ard them.. n they were found out to b GUYS!!! wad the hell... zavier den pop out a qn... they watched brokeback mountain ar!? lol! was dem funny.. haha... wa... today i mug abit la.. not bad... its so fun.. drank deuche latte again.. if its spelt tt way... haha... so cool... i'm still hungry...

ok.. all thanks to shu.. my day was so fun today... haha.. its so enjoyable.. lyk imagine a day w muggin n play... n jokes.. ur frens' fren talkin to u... haha... fun!

i'm jus so sad. Its a bad day. went to mendaki. fun but tt wasn't a v major part of my day. i jus dun wanna say la.. all abt letting go. i jus cant do it. dunno y. i dun1 2 live w regrets. so i'll wait. i jus hope it'll turn out to be a blessing in disguise. lyk kiss gdbye.. not foreva luv. :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzTVE4WK3OE&search=forever%20love

Samuel.. Thanks man...foreva love... dem sad.. watched the mv.. my conclusion... wait wait.. :)

Wa the gal in the end threw the necklace.. sigh... tml.. i gg mendaki... we did the radio thingee today.. NUS com de.. dem cool.. n funny... haha...

foreva love... wa.. the song jus keeps runnin thru my mind... n all the memories... tml phy spa.. no mood! hai...

you tube is a nice place to find MTVs... :0

Oh.. today was a v screwed up day... alot to blog.. but i v lazy.. basically... i'm v pissed tt i din get into wakeboarding course for the enrichment week... we chiong there.. n it was lyk... 60 odd ppl there liao.. i nv do ODE! shit! i hav to go do it soon... dunno if i hav time... there's a bee flyin ard in my room... oh no... i v hum de... was lyk... ewww... the stupid bee.... hate flyin insects... they tend to intimidate me and make me look lyk a fool!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sInGqiGMmJA

Samuel sent me this. sad sad sad. When u realised that life is sumthing u cannot decide wad u want or wad u can do. u'll turn into self denial. you'll feel inferior n b a hermit. stay away from other ppl. kiss gd bye. i luv her. watch the mtv n cried. dunno y. emotions jus poured out. so i noe i stil do hav feelings for her. don't i? But why is it always a one way street. In luv, there's no such thing as fair or unfair. there's oni a game of sacrifice. when i fig out wad's life abt. i shall be a master of life. but a follower of this big word called life will nv b a master. why is it so painful. to hold on. neither is it easy to let go. I dunno how to make her happy. Maybe she's finding her happiness somewhere. Rmb the days where we watched movies together. our fav past times. n eat long john silvers n marche. we'll always eat fried calamari cos we liked it alot. den u'll go on tellin me abt shirley temple. tot it was an alcoholic drink. ha. well it taste lyk 1.. u tricked me on tt.


before i forget. i'll pin down everything i can rmb. i rmb u gave me this v v sweet stack of hearts. u wrote all the nice lyrics on them. sori i was not sensitive towards u last time. i din noe how to appreciate you totally.. n when i do..

Kat dun worry gal.. be strong, can tell me y tml.. hai.. everyone is so sad now. dunno wad's wrong.. mayb its jus the moon. cross fingers tt they realli affect our moods jus lyk how it affect the tides...

I believe there's a hope. In every death, there's life. I may be losing whatever i desire for. But i noe one day, i can find it back. cos i believe in faith. i believe that my destiny lies in my own hands. I write my own history. And create my own future. A msg struck upon me. hard. But i noe if i persevere. one day. may be it will happen. screwed my math test today. i din get final ans for two qns. lyk wth. jus passed for bio test. life's screin up. i'm almost screwed. do i even hav something that keeps me to move on?+

i pray for the light. i hope for a better future. But can i really get 1? I have put down all my sadness and set aside my setbacks. but this big thing i stil havent overcome. is myself.

Why ppl r so troubled by luv? is it realli a v big prob? life for me now is so routine. weekdays i do abit of hw.. l8r hav to mug for math test tml.. den play utopia.. check email.. sing some songs.. den go slp. that's all. weekends i hav gavel which i quite enjoy. den sunday cip.. 4 more weeks to ct.. havent really prepare.. i'm challenging myself. but i cant seem to push myself hard enuf. y? Nt year i'll be in NS.. life will be tougher. wad do i want in my life? what a person want in life? is it to live for others? i was born to make someone happy. i'm still born to make her happy. but when can i ever make her happy again? when will i ever be happy again? surges of sadness come one after another. Alot of ppl tell me stuff. dunno who to believe. i'm lyk a clown. hav to entertain ppl. i'm not obliged to. but its jus basic manners in me i guess.

but deep down inside me. there lies the dark side. i feel so empty. now tt i dun even noe wad am i living for. ppl sae religion gives you a purpose in life. is it true? well maybe at that moment you'll feel inspired, not cos of anyting. but cos the person is a gd speaker. He touched you. not any god or mystical aura.

I feel like a bird with broken wings. and everyday. I'll pray that my wings will grow back. Wishful but hopeful. but the higher the hopes i pin on... the more devastated i feel when i noe its not the reality.

wad's ur purpose in life? is it to go to heaven? is it to make ppl happy? if so, wont u b tired? is it to score ur A's? if so wad makes u a full person if u jus noe how to mug? For now, i still dunno.

all i noe is life is mundane for me now. the extra stuff i took up jus aggravate the situation.
I feel i belong nowhere. cos i'm insignificant.

There's a proverb: its lonely up there.
i feel lonely anywhere. lost hopes. lost myself in the midst of finding wad's true happiness. I put in too much. that I became a part of someone. When the truth breaks out, I was discarded somehow. Or mayb jus put aside cos i was of less importance. i dun blame. jus wanna sae i'll be there for u always. I've made up my mind.

Lost my soul. lost my everything. What more can i lose?

I send her the song. all i wish for is one more chance. :/

oh no.. can c the lyrics... hai.. the song by lin jun jie... http://www.geocities.com/musicpara/Linjunjie.htm#zhiduinishuo

jus wanna say sa rang hae yo to the gal tt made a diff in my life.

i miss u alot.

What's Taking You So Long Baby
So Many Hours So Many Days
我心里的这句话 还是想对你说
Sa Rang Hae Yo
站在寂寞的舞台上
灯光下拖着自己的
影子音乐重复我们共同
的忧伤
不是每一次的演唱
就可以淡忘 明天没有你
In My Heart We'll Never Be Apart
残留手上的香味提醒我
在数位相机里 留下的承诺
每一封简讯 传出的思念都
对你说
Sa Rang Hae Yo Means I Love You
代表着我 离不开你每分每秒
每一个声音只有你撒娇 会让我微笑
Sa Rang Hae Yo 只对你说
I Will Love You And Forever More
我答应 Baby You Will See
每一个我都属于你 Yeah Yeah

Oh Baby I Will Love You Because我都属于你 Yeah

my day started at 7.30am. yeah! cos i slept v early ytd.. den hav alot of energy.. din mug today again.. had gavel.. den had chem.. ok shu remind me to get u a copy of the chem notes.. i hav a bad memory.. basically today is fun n screwed.. i went w liyana to acjc.. shu la! pon chem.. she had to jaga the booth la act.. we went reach there at 3plus.. then walk ard.. c alot alot of ppl..

c alot alot of frens!!.. arshad.. this small junior of mine last time in drama.. was lyk v extra de.. haha... now so tall liao!!! feel so inferior.. saw enci, chee han.. michy, alice, simreen, jaya, muzzy n alot alot of ppl... alot of booth but v diff to choose.. walao.. ac jc dem rich lor... lol... heard of the dunkin game... the highest bid was to dunk the principal... guess how high the bid went? 2700!!! lol... wth.. its alot alot lor...

alot of shuai ges n chio bus... c alot.. hah.. fun fun.. but behind the fun.. there was a sad thing happening act.. not v fang pian to say here.. guess its has to lie in my heart for a while.. well sucks act.. listen to jj's new album.. Now tt's she's gone.. v nice.. but i bought a tea bag today... den me n liy bought 2 for shu.. cos we din noe wad to spend on...haha. but we r nice ok... cos aft all shu ask us come de ma... so buy sumting lor..

aft tt we went to celebrate my dad's bday! haha.. din noe lor.. oops... nvm tt's not the pt.. ate alot.. till i was super duper full.. hah. fun.. den went home.. check utopia.. godlike.. i'm challengin yt to thieve me!! i'm v strong now.. haha...

well concludes my day.. thx for taggin darren.. ya saw him too! he's shu's sec gd fren... n oso my pri sch gd fren! lol... sg is so small!! seriously we r so closely related somehow! :)

Friday... alot happened. my sim card faulty den i went to change it today.. saw MJ... jess classmate last time. so tired.. i've been slipn at 130 since wed.. oops. haha. tired tired. nv do hw.. so sad... my hp.. den i waited for 2 hrs jus to change the stupid card.. road run was flop.. i run v slowly. my thigh v pain... cos ytd did stdin broad jump.. was lyk lactate up on my thighs!!! muscle fatigue ok... i went to eat lunch w shi, julz and karla at curry wok today... v nice the food there.. v long time nv go there liao.. haha. nvm tt's not the pt.. den i realised grace's n shuying's chem tutor is my tutor oso!!! lol.. world is so small.. den shu hui's fren ian tt time told me tt he knew grace... wa the world is so small... or mayb its jus sg... way too puny... ok.. changing blog skin.. heh.. den i oso nd to change song.. changin to jj's cao cao.. if i can find... hehe...

wad a V day i had. spendin my time playin utopia. haha. its a game tt all the guys in our class r crazy over. I'm an orc. well my target is to kill yt tt fag. haha.

ok shall move on.. the gals in my class r quite nice.. i mean oni xh, sc, lt and julz. so nice gives us chocs n stuff. ha. we got dedicate a song for u all lor!! but we put yt's name. haha. we shy ma.. lol.. one of the rare times u c me wout a rose on vday. yes. cos i din buy it for myself this year. lol. no money. haha. din msg her. dun dare. tml nd to shoot video.. take for nus.. sam pls be the chee ko pek ok? haha. rather borin v day.. shiu say v day's for losers.. lol.. for losers lyk us play utopia on v day! so not romantic! hah. i went home straight away after my math s tutorial.. dunno wad the lecturer said. was lyk.. yawns.. den the cher v bad.. wa suan us.. he say.. if u dunno how to do the qns.. dun take s paper! wth.. nvm.. shall prove him wrong... another fag..

havent had my dinner. hah. ate chocs for lunch.. den 1plus cannot take it.. i went to eat proper lunch.. mm... thinkin of all the things tt happened today. the oni fun part was mockin at yt! haha. we still hav a voice recordin of it! hah. was realli funny. we laughed so loudly til the everyone in the canteen looked at us.. too bad the gals not here... n i nv take photos.. my rechargeable batt cannot use liao... haha. cos recharge too many times.. no power left...

tml bio spa. skill D. died. hope i can rmb the pts n how to explain them well...

fun fun... was at pp.. thou quite lag but not bad la. ha. i'm so tired. sam said sumting abt me.. *secret* which i tink is quite true. dunno la.. hah. nvm. james mayb buyin lyk 100 roses from dunman high.. lol.. den mayb i go help him.. at suntec c couples buy roses lor... so sad leh. but sam n me set to buy 9 roses. haha. give ppl lor.. or mayb for ourselves. still thinkin of it. dun think i so wu qing k? i'm not. but ard over le.. so i shan't probe further. james has w800i. both sam n shi say w800i better. s in nicer. but 200 more den k750i w contract leh.. so ex.. n the oni diff is the design n more memory stick.. which is can buy n change for less than 100 bucks.. no other gd fones ard. my sunday is burned. not doin anything la.. readin geisha. oni first few pgs. not bad. i lyk the part abt she's actually not from the town where geishas are trained. n tt e author says sumting abt her revelations. n sam told me sumting ridiculous.. he wants me to date sumbody.... well known rumor which is so totally not true!!! c'mon sam... we can go suntec n help james instead lor.. summore wed got bio spa.. so dun 1 waste my time.. mayb i'll go for a while.. til 7 or 8.. den go home early slp.. n shi v bad... mm... IQ 100 X EQ 0 = 0.. haha... this was for 2 guys.....dem farnie...


a puppet with broken strings
a bird with broken wings
a man with a broken king

What are you with?

confirm plus chop. my hp. big prob. lol. nvm.. tml i mayb cannot online cos i'll b doin cip.. but half day.. den come back muz mug for math.. maclurin series.. i havent revise. there's a test on tues... tml i'll b at parkway parade.. ok.. makin balloons most probably.. enjoy myself.. n think of ways to make raise awareness n fund.. lol i'm so tired.... nd time for myself.. nd time to be back on track again. nd time to find a purpose in life again. y is it so farnie? ppl cannot seem to hav faith in themselves? ok.. mayb its jus me. but i'm tryin to find it. love myself a little more. cos i was bitten once. n once bitten, twice shy. wow. fancy usin cliche quotes. esp when i'm in a state of half awakeness... whee.. thinkin of how to be a nicer person. thinkin of how i can save myself from some dark force that lurks behind the dark alley. lyk clouds spreading its sinister wings... prancing towards me. picking me up high. and throw me into the sea of hell.

wa.. my hp realli spoil liao... i cant rcv msg u noe... dunno y... how to spend 101.70 in a nite.. i noe how.. went to eat delifrance w my family... wa lao.. jus here n there den tt much liao.. but quite full la.. too bad my bro w his gf so he din join us.. haha. lol. i'm so full. ok shu lend me geisha... i'll read it. thou its quite an old book.. but i nv read ma.. even da vinci code is collectin dust at my hse.. arghhh how? my hp so sucky.. nvm.. my dad buyin new fone.. now k750i oni 298 for SH.. so so cheep.. haha.. may will get tt one.. cos i hav SH voucher.. 100 bucks... deni hav 200plus myself... at least hav a decent fone.. may not b me usin.. but at least a middle end fone at home... a 2 mp cam hp...

hai... sat.. lonely. no more concert. no more video shootage.. all cancelled... wth.. i got pang sehed... all in an hr. a life is all i nd... get a life!!! u noe wad tt means... one of my frens say it means.... GAL... ya wad.. get a life... haha.. mad liao.. mug mug n mug... am i so boring? but i'm bored... cos i dunno wad can i get for myself... roses? so gay... w800i? cannot.. no money... lookin back at my life.. i realised how life is so borin.. my whole life is so borin. missed a few rainbows ytd.. hm said there was two... haha. i asked her if there was a guy who was gd lookin and love her alot wad wld she do.. she said she'll marry him.. but she added.. either this person is on the moon or died.. lol! tt's v sad... single ppl... well we r sad ppl.. but we find our own joy ya? i nd new AAA batts... my cam is collectin dust on my desk... haha. well its so fun to take photos. of nature.. of interesting stuff... its jus v intriguin. tt's all. thinkin of all the memories... other den my borin muggin life, well jus sad memories.. tt's wad's left. an empty me. hollow inside.

yt was lyk tellin me... u wan a gal anyhow grab can liao.. i can understand y he said tt... not cos i shuai... but its a relative thing u noe.. so he tink i wan to get v easy... u tink i so shui bian meh!!! anyhow grab one... of cos muz find e right one la... if not waste each other's time.. oso no pt.. currently dun hav la... sian ard.. haha. too high at the start of the weeki den now no gas liao....

if yt ever gets a gf... i'll b d 1st to congratulate him.... ok.. here's his photo...

how? this is wad i call a shot of fame.. in my blog.. lol... but well... life is ard borin.. we nd sum interestin drama in our life ma...

had an extremely long day today... but interesting stuff happened! haha. well sch was borin.. but today, sc, ying2 and shindee was not in sch.. so we were lyk.. wow! haha jk la.. sc came to sch halfway.. he look realli sick.. said he has not been muggin since sunday.. wa.. fever.. sorethroat.. pon 3days of sch.. its realli terrible man... hope u get well soon... den durin civics ms chee scold us... sae cos we nv listen to the bio lecturer's instrutions.. ok.. shall be guai boy nt time.. muz go off by the back doors of LT5 after bio lect. cos of the jc1s... fair n square la.. wed they oso go by the back door... the reason is back door v ma fan.. hav to climb up the stairs then climb down.. cos LT5 is new building ma... so no link to the rest of the blocks..

Den after sch.. while i was waitin for the presentation talk at 4... i was muggin oscillations in e canteen. den elf was jus at the other end of the table.. ok la.. nth much lor.. nj no chio gals la.. i noe the gals r gg to complain:" nj oso no handsomes ard ma!" haha. typical feminist rant.. well quite true la.. act depends on how you see it. My fav quote is the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. haha. think its quite true.. well V day comin liao. i'm gg to buy sumting for myself! haha. wad shall i buy.... mm.. met shu ying at the bus stop.. well she calls me the big toasty! jus cos i'm in TM.. haha.. den we had a long talk and she went to buy tokayaki... well waited v long la.. poor thing leh her.. hav to interview the councils-to-be on V day.. so sad.. nvm la.. she sae its interestin. tt's gd. had gastric cos i din eat lunch.. stil havin it now.. bad.. shu ying says i'm anorexic.. welp.. nth of tt sort..=S

The presentation workshop was ok la.. cos d presenter.. william lim was from my sch!! CSS.. knew of his book since 2001.. which was the year he published the book. well a very refined man i would sae.. in TM oso.. cool huh...? he was quite impressed when i asked him if he was from CSS. haha.. talking abt presentation. its abt leavin an impression on somebody, be it the panelist of judges or just a random person. a gd one tt is.. We live in a life of ifs.... LivingIFEnding..

And our fears are FalseEvidenceAppearingReal.. isn't it? the use of acronyms... its v powerful. tt's wad i learned.. i did enjoy myself act.. den i gave my opinions of Passion as PASSItON... hehe.. den he gave me an interesting one... IaMPOSSIBLE... so nth is impossible.. njc students like to ask alot of questions that are seriously... indescribable. No wonder the scholarships are given to the RJ n HC students.. cos we lack the self confidence.. its lyk in singin, in superstar.. they look for the X factor in you.. And tt's lackin in us...

Life is not just abt getting As... i mean to some extent yes its impt... but even if u get ur As... but u sucked at ur interview... wad's the point? You have nth to contribute to the society. I dun care how ppl look at me.. cos I'm myself.. I wanna be myself. Its very difficult to appease ppl u know.. its not easy. One of the teachers told me abt 7 parts of critical thinking skills... he cant rmb all.. but comprehension--> synthesis--> Evaluation.. its abt taking stuff here and there and piece it out and make it ur own.. tt's life. tml i dun hav gavel.. lookin forward to the band concert.. dread chem. sian. but tml mayb hav video shootin.. sam, shi n cnd. haha.. all 3 letter oni.. so farnie.. NUS ppl replied.. pls read ur email.. i forward to u all liao...

Still havin gastric.

wa... online again... so sian.. i felt lyk i was out of touch from the world since 6pm... aft i went offline.. i jus mug my way all the way till american idol.. den i went to eat dinner... its realli borin.. sumtimes u'd think abt hw n say" what's the pt of studyin so hard?" ppl say u r a mugger... care too much... ppl say u kay po... tok to much... oso kena ostracise... ai zhou ren zhen nan.. v sian diao.. i mugged thermal props and carbonyl liao.. okok.. go on say i mugger la.. dun care liao... act... back to a v old issue i hav mentioned b4.. ppl who r nerds... aren't they better? they kinda live in their own world... n dun nd to make ppl happy... My emotions are abit outta place rite now... dunno wad to feel.. dunno how to feel.. tml i hav sapphire meetin til v late.. wa.. another day burned out.. sat acjc band concert... sunday do cip... u tink i hav the luxury of time lyk some ppl do? my weekends r always burned out la... sian... so numbed about my life... u all heard of zhang yue you's wo zhen de shou shang le? i hear it alot of times since jan... v sad la... ppl r so cold nowadays... and ppl r selfish.. well.. the nus ppl havent replied me.. so this weekend cannot film my compeition stuff liao... tt means nt week la.. which implies.. nt week oso gone.. gavel, chem... den mayb acjc funorama... den filmin... wth...

the pt is that i dun understand y ppl lyk to compare.. well i do tt too... but for fun peace n laughter.. den when u do more den them... they sae alot of bad things... i mean doin tutorials is not lyk knowing extra stuff like wadeva ppl learn from star prog or wadeva rite? so wad's wrong? or is it jus a typical kiasu singaporean mentality... tt u muz b ahead of everyone.. if not u'll be the biggest loser... at least they hav a tv prog for losers... but for those losers who dun even get any chance... they r the real biggest losers...

tml will be a long day... i dunno y now i kinda spend my life in the virtual world more than the real world.. mayb the real world is jus too ugly... that's y ppl chose to hide in the virtual reality.. where u build ur own identity... not wad u r and tt u hav to accept it... an eg. now my frens playin a game that builds ur own kingdom... well... thou its all words... wad act is fun is the excitement of conquering more land... n killin more people... but r ppl gettin violent cos of all this stuff? well... US got ppl take pistolsn and kill their classmates in sch.. i played cs before oso.. v addictive... but dunno leh... after a while.. the excitement died off... guess its lyk a drug.. u'll nd higher dosage everytime to get high... cos u get more tolerant to it... well... screwed up life... wad's next?

heard tml ppl will be takin their O lvl results... well gd luck u peeps... for those who are havin a major exam this year... well.. jia you den. 5 days. 5 hopes. all dashed. all gone.. lookin forward to a long break act.. after my A lvls... mayb i'll go overseas... but big bro gg off end of year to UK/US i tink... so sad... last time after my O's act we wanted to go de... but my parents worried... anyway big bro realli a nice fren.. my ex lit cher:) at least tt's 1 thing i can be proud of.

but still... y am i doin it to myself all over again? i dun understand.. mayb ppl ard do care.. mayb its jus me.. bein insensitive.. after all... sumting bad happened to me cos i was insensitive.. but i'm really tired... wld jus lyk to be a ordinary guy.. in an ordinary place 1st.. at least for now.. i live in my own small lil town i can call it home.. well.. v tired.. got to go back to my own den. n rest more.. been lack of slp these few days...

Today was quite ok la.. nth much happen leh.. we ran the roadrun today.. haha.. sc pon sch again... he must be realli sick.. wa.. 2 days in a week. durin bio tutorial.. i was talkin to kat la.. den ms chee was lyk:" martin... wa u snatch kat from fang you ah?" tap... haha... its was so wrong... fy... peng you qi, bu ke qi!! i not so jian la.. haha. aniwae kat not my type.. i was jus talkin to her abt something not bio related. tt's y ms chee was abit disturbed.. haha. i've been stagnant for two days.. muz start to mug liao.. if not cannot catch up.. phy i stil at temp... den bio i'm at homeostasis.. haha. nvm la... shall mug hard... ya wen ask me out on saturday... jus called me.. acjc alumini band concert la.. ok lor.. so long nv c her liao.. den she callin her other frens s well i tink.. lyk ruey jing.. den alisha dem funny... she sae she dun 1 2 waste her money on a band concert.. haha. anyway... its been a long day today.. ppl sae my blog skin v childish.. n bhb... haha. changin it soon.. when i hav time.. so dun complain k? jus compromise for a while... thanks peeps...

today... i pon guitar again..haha.. sch was nth interesting.. we had bio spa... trial spa skill D i mean.. ok lor.. i felt tt some points i sld hav written.. den forgot.. so sucky.. bad memory power.. den i had gavel presentation.. alisha was there!! haha... n rudy well my sec frens... alisha is from drama de.. last time i from drama ma.. den my fellow cast...well miss the old days act... freer.. haha. n less stress.. den i went home.. bathed, changed, went cb... mug w shu n frens... well.. u were rite.. haha. widening my social circle... ha. its kinda funny cos we all dunno each other except shu.. den i noe 3 new frens... kevin, ian and a hc guy... ahha forgot the name... o ya... forgot to tell u all.. shu pretended to b sick n pon road run.. haha. tt was quite random.. but anyway... i left at 7.10pm... den go for tuition.. haha. i'm not late act... cos v near onli... but muggin at cb was my 1st time act... haha.. quite fun la.. den can c how she write her chinese compo.. haha. its v funny... but shall not laugh if not nt time she wun flash her chinese hw to mug in cb liao.. hah... den physics tuition was lyk.... whee... chop chop... dunno wad the cher's talkin... but anyway... my day was kinda fun. ha. cos get to make new frens ma. den sat i dun hav gavel.. cancelled.. haha... at least i hav time to do my hw.. go mug mayb.. cos sunday i mayb gg to do cip.. depends.. :) can meet james.. o james is a v nice guy.. he's v funny... got to know him when i do cip.. perm staff from hwa.. haha. o btw.. i mayb gg acjc fun o rama... lyk quite fun... haha.

ok... today i dun hav maths s mass tutorial!!! haha.. den i went for a swim.. at least i became abit tanner... not bad la.. so hungry.. home alone.. n no dinner... mum n sis went swimmin.. but my sis went to train la.. mayb she's gg sports sch ba.. dunno.. c how... my bro today wanted to buy ipod shuffle 512mb... he sae his fren got s a prize den he got no use so sellin.. for 110... but no pt la... my sis has it liao.. muz well buy w800i... haha... but i heard they sae w800i the video not gd... d600 oso in my list act... but tt one apart from video better... the rest suckier than w800i.. n w800i quite pretty wad... orangey.. haha. o.. i forgot to tell u all abt ytd... YT n La... haha. angela likes tulip.. den we were mockin at la sayin tt wad if on v day yt gives la a turnip instead!! n w engravings of : tian tian xian ni... tian tian wen zi ji... ba wo zhui hao de ai.. tou gei ni!!! hahah... v v funny... yt is a hermaphrodite.. wad we call him... or rather... wad i call him.. haha. he's wad we tok abt all the time.. haha.. ok.. but act he's quite a nice fren la... quite gd at consolin... got alot of secrets btw me n him act.. but... classified! too bad... double fingers crossed n sealed lips! haha. well... sld i pon guitar tml... pon alot of times liao... den ian not happy i tink... ian is our guitar pres... high respect ok... haha. den waste sch's resources... u noe toh come evrytime 50 bucks... toh is our instrutor... the bui bui guy.... haha. still thinkin act...
lalalala. these few days i chao ji happy. haha. i'm tanner.... but i nd a haircut thou... its gettin long.. but my parents say cny cannot cut hair... havent write my speech for tml... got to present to the ppl in the ava... gavel lor... its cool la act... i lyk speakin ma... thou its v scary... certain amt of confidence involved in it... ah... i sit on the chair too long liao.. been here since 5? haha... well jc2 life... gotta say certain level of brain power n discipline is needed. but.. still lyk today n tml.. it'll be no muggin day.. haha. mayb gg guitar ma... den today prepare speech.. let me c...
i still hav phy s qn to do.. dunno how to do... den chem carbonyl.. den bio essays.. haha. ok shall mug bio dis week den.. i was v attentive durin bio today... u noe y? cos i mug bio asexual reproduction notes on the bus today... so i noe abit la.. den jus bleagh everything out... tryin to b lyk yt ma... wa... godlike.. think everybody tink i v mug now... gd gd... every one shall mug hard...

its 8.18pm now... got to mug fin my math s qns.... den got to fin bio... i haven't really studied homeostasis n we are at asexual reproduction liao.. y sc today nv come sch? dunno y leh.. so sad... anyway today we ran the road run route.. ok la.. i felt tt it was v short. so so.. headache... my new specs lor.. makin my head so painful... how? i still hav alot lor.. sian... but i tried a few qns of carbonyl.. stil can do la.. but no time le.. haha... so i muz do other hw now.. l8r got deperate housewives. ok.. hm ask me to do a test.. end up... i may marry a edie or a lynette... lol... u all sld try... its unisex de... http://abc.go.com/primetime/desperate/quiz/index.html dem cool la... ha.. thou i tink the results v funny... may not b true la... wa i'm so tired liao.. den after dh stil hav grey's anatomy.. oso a v v cool show.. haha. wa.. i type so less but the clock ticks so fast.... tink cos i'm a slow typer... colour blind is a v v nice song... by darius danesh.. wa godlike... haha.. thx shu... n who am i oso v nice... den i'm relistening one of my fav bands... delirou5? hah.. they r a bunch of cool ppl... sumting is wrong w my hp... sian... nvm... end of year i can change le... thou i'll b gg army... haha... wa to think of tt... army daze.... lol.... it'll b v funny... imagine me in uniform... but i wan police leh.. more cool. haha. ok la... i go mug liao... everybody mug hard ok? n slp late cos tonite's a nite of fun!!!! yay!!! cya!

ok. i shall stop my nonsensical questions and unwanted desires. End of story. Well.. i took a day to do integration3. ha. its so so slow. kat says she took 2 hrs to fin. wth! I'm super unproductive. My dad maybe changing hp!!! haha. I keep pushing for W800i!! Ppl say D500c not gd leh... den W800i is quite gd i tink. Saw the photos that it took. was pretty clear. n i lyk orange. K, i'm sayin as if it'll b mine, but at least its a gd fone.... joanna... its not cos u want then i want ok... i noe u said it durin chem prac ages ago.. ha. i tink its a gd fone.. not lyk ur reason.. so bimbotic.. haha.. cos of the colour den the specs of the hp u jus sae okok oni... lol. well sundays r slack days i guess... but i realised my childhood is so sucky... my sis is p6 n she went to her fren's hse on a sunday!! for a bday party.. i dun even get all this stuff when i was young lor.. so unfair.. nvm la. at least it gives me some recollection of memories when i celebrated my bday when i was p1.. was so touched ok.. i got a ninja turtle bday cake from my mum.. thou i was quite antisocial last time. v v introverted. u can ask my mum. i was lyk an autistic child in front of my frens. dun lyk them la.. haha. now ok le.. i'm a much more sociable person ok.. today is chu ba... on the 8th day of chinese new year, my true feelings came to me. haha. v high now.. not on drugs.. but jus feel gay. haha. the art of lettin go is to b gracious. n feel happy for whoever u believe will b happy.

i sang guardian angel by hong junyang... u noe i always record my voice.. haha. quite nice leh.. hah.. so bhb. i realised i haven't been a movie fanatic for 2 mths.... tt's quite sad. ha. cos i hab been a super duper movie-goer for the past two years... nvm la.. this year A level.. wa v stress... i hope everyone does well for wadeva exams they hav this year...
heard from my dad this year dragon year fan tai sui!!! muz go pray... ai ya.. its best to believe den not to.. anyway no harm ma.. so those ppl who are dragons... pls go bai bai ok? may god bless u... no matter wad religion.. cos god loves all of us! (:

ok. the end. here is a new chapter of life.

a second chance is all i need. I noe that's too much to ask for. I noe that's too big a sacrifice. But i luv her. how can i ever forget her? The girl who made a difference in my life. Even if she's tired I'll still wait. V-day is coming. But does that mean there'll be a second chance? Will there even be one? What has made her change so much? Or is it that I was too insensitive about her feelings. That's why I deserved to be punished. That's why I deserved to be in this state.

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# Martin
# cckps, scss, css, NJC, (currently in NS)
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