Thursday, February 09, 2006;9:43 pm **crisis core**
lol
wa... online again... so sian.. i felt lyk i was out of touch from the world since 6pm... aft i went offline.. i jus mug my way all the way till american idol.. den i went to eat dinner... its realli borin.. sumtimes u'd think abt hw n say" what's the pt of studyin so hard?" ppl say u r a mugger... care too much... ppl say u kay po... tok to much... oso kena ostracise... ai zhou ren zhen nan.. v sian diao.. i mugged thermal props and carbonyl liao.. okok.. go on say i mugger la.. dun care liao... act... back to a v old issue i hav mentioned b4.. ppl who r nerds... aren't they better? they kinda live in their own world... n dun nd to make ppl happy... My emotions are abit outta place rite now... dunno wad to feel.. dunno how to feel.. tml i hav sapphire meetin til v late.. wa.. another day burned out.. sat acjc band concert... sunday do cip... u tink i hav the luxury of time lyk some ppl do? my weekends r always burned out la... sian... so numbed about my life... u all heard of zhang yue you's wo zhen de shou shang le? i hear it alot of times since jan... v sad la... ppl r so cold nowadays... and ppl r selfish.. well.. the nus ppl havent replied me.. so this weekend cannot film my compeition stuff liao... tt means nt week la.. which implies.. nt week oso gone.. gavel, chem... den mayb acjc funorama... den filmin... wth...
the pt is that i dun understand y ppl lyk to compare.. well i do tt too... but for fun peace n laughter.. den when u do more den them... they sae alot of bad things... i mean doin tutorials is not lyk knowing extra stuff like wadeva ppl learn from star prog or wadeva rite? so wad's wrong? or is it jus a typical kiasu singaporean mentality... tt u muz b ahead of everyone.. if not u'll be the biggest loser... at least they hav a tv prog for losers... but for those losers who dun even get any chance... they r the real biggest losers...
tml will be a long day... i dunno y now i kinda spend my life in the virtual world more than the real world.. mayb the real world is jus too ugly... that's y ppl chose to hide in the virtual reality.. where u build ur own identity... not wad u r and tt u hav to accept it... an eg. now my frens playin a game that builds ur own kingdom... well... thou its all words... wad act is fun is the excitement of conquering more land... n killin more people... but r ppl gettin violent cos of all this stuff? well... US got ppl take pistolsn and kill their classmates in sch.. i played cs before oso.. v addictive... but dunno leh... after a while.. the excitement died off... guess its lyk a drug.. u'll nd higher dosage everytime to get high... cos u get more tolerant to it... well... screwed up life... wad's next?
heard tml ppl will be takin their O lvl results... well gd luck u peeps... for those who are havin a major exam this year... well.. jia you den. 5 days. 5 hopes. all dashed. all gone.. lookin forward to a long break act.. after my A lvls... mayb i'll go overseas... but big bro gg off end of year to UK/US i tink... so sad... last time after my O's act we wanted to go de... but my parents worried... anyway big bro realli a nice fren.. my ex lit cher:) at least tt's 1 thing i can be proud of.
but still... y am i doin it to myself all over again? i dun understand.. mayb ppl ard do care.. mayb its jus me.. bein insensitive.. after all... sumting bad happened to me cos i was insensitive.. but i'm really tired... wld jus lyk to be a ordinary guy.. in an ordinary place 1st.. at least for now.. i live in my own small lil town i can call it home.. well.. v tired.. got to go back to my own den. n rest more.. been lack of slp these few days...