Sunday, March 05, 2006;2:37 pm **crisis core**
lol
chocs r anti depressants. but oni for an hr.. tears nv stop fallin.. life nv stops going...
i feel lyk ppl r jus tools... we r constantly manipulated.. imagine wad if there's sumting else or someone else or greater power in the universe that lives etrenally.. n we jus live lyk.. 70odd years.. to him we r jus lyk nth.. jus machines who keep the universe movin.. r we?
I feel tt i'm at cross roads.. i dunno wad exactly do i wan in my life.. doc? psychologist? policeman? why am i workin so hard?
talk to yt ytd.. talked abt alot of things.. i feel lyk a childish brat.. all the things i did in sch.. i noe i'm jus super immature... n tt i'm super idealistic.. i wan things to happen in a certain way.. i suck in givin ppl freedom of speech... i'm a dictator.. the arty farty temper in me flars up once in a while.. n mayb tt's y i'm havin so many probs. tt's y i lost her. cos i'm jus too idealistic.. imagine if she gets oppressed by me till eternity.. wun i b so unfair to her.. she once wanted to shine for me.. but now.. she shines for a diff reason.. for herself. sldn't i b happy she's less dependent on a spoilt brat n an insensitive guy lyk me? at least she found herself out from her 3 rlnships.
why can i jus be a lil more gracious? the pain of letting go.
wad do i exactly wan in my life? who am i? r humans jus a race amongst the many other raes in the universe? why are we self indulging then? why do we dwell so much in our 70 years of life rather than working for our future gen?
why do i feel so alone? n left out? my life moves on purely on this basis of belief. all humans are animals too.. many a times we based our judgement on gut feeling. rather than logic. u cant deny the fact that u feel more for a certain interviewee cos they give u a better impression. same applies to studies, work, play, leisure.