Friday, May 26, 2006;7:14 pm **crisis core**
lol
to my 3+2 dears.... sori i pang seh u all cannot meet up tdy... tml mayb? we go mug tgt k?
ha...
mm... tdy is the alst day of sch. bit of comments..
tot abt smtgs tt i realli sld not hav done... n smtgs i havent done...
cos we had this psychometric test briefin...
okok.. i'm not the elite.... not the top 20 la.. haha... but tt's not the pt... i nv was...
jus tt it led me to this train of tot tt wad do i realli wan in life?
wad can i do to be wad i wan?
wad do i wan actually? this may sound weird but i realli dunno...
shd i even take SAT?
s papers 52 bucks per paper...
hav to pay by cash... lol...
hefty sum of money...
but act monetary issue aint the prevailin problem... its abt wad i wan to study in the uni n which uni i wan to go n wad scholarships am i aimin for tt matters...
now... i realli dunno..
miss 2 sat exams.... so the next is october.. which is so close to.... A's....
how how?
am tryin to b focus.
i hav to.
cos i dun 1 2 b wad i was.
i was there b4...
down n down n down...
den i went up...
n got complacent.
n fall back again.
long story.
i noe how it feels to be down there..
n swore nv ever to fall back into the dark pit again..
but i feel myself fallin into it slowly s time pass by...
feel the suction force by the dark forces of nature... engulfin my physical self.
emotionally i am hollow s my soul gets weaker n weaker with the destruction by the crazy mystical power inside. i feel like i am goin around in circles..
But an external strength pulls me up whenever i feel that i'm fallin... And that strength is a collective force of the good. the power of love and friendship.
family, frens n ur soul partners. givin u their utmost care n concern.
with that kind of love n strength.
I'm spiritually stronger. Cos i noe, no matter wad, they will b here to catch me when i fall.
i feel so ang moh. lol.