***************************************** Martin is a navy boi.
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Sunday, March 09, 2008;9:16 pm **crisis core**
lol
i'm suddenly felt lyk blogging. for once. after being posted to unit and after slackin for so long.
i jus feel so empty deep down inside. mm.. i know wad i'm sayin rite now mayb a lil hurtful. but i jus feel v disappointed. i noe tt back in the cadet days i'm always confined n the 6 weeks hav made u more independent and hav new circle of frens, but hav u ever wondered how i wld feel? lyk i dun hav the hyperactive n super-on type of frens tt u hav. in fact, my life is jus abt u n my family. half the time u r studyin n when u r free, u r meetin ur frens. when u finally can meet me, u hav to worry if ur parents will b angry tt u went out so late the previous nite w ur frens.
we no longer use to b as sweet as before. to me, i believe tt affection is v impt in a rlnship. whether it is words of affection or touch, i feel so lil from u. i feel lyk a helpless baby cryin from his cradle. what can i say or do to make u feel how i feel.. to make u see wad i see. all i wish is a sweet msg when i wake up every mornin, or before i sleep. but nv did i rcv any of tt from u anymore. u took forgettin to msg me as an excuse. could u forget to msg someone tt u love?
the pain tt i feel continues when u dun bother to tell me where u are, or wad u r doin, or who are u talkin to. i may sound lyk a total control freak, but i am not. i'm realli not. i dunno if this wld work out. i no longer hav the kind of confidence in our rlnship and faith. because we no longer sit at the rooftop terrace of esplanade n watch another shooting star, we no longer watch a movie tt whispers "i love u" softly into ur ears, we no longer visit the beach n bare our backs to let the sun scorch n make us sweat. we no longer play table tennis where i see every perfectness in the way u start the match.
sometimes i wonder if u realli understand wad bein in love is. sometimes i hope u understand wad i hoped for. i dun wan to meet u jus to feel sad n lonely. i dun wan to meet u jus for the sake of meetin up. the kind of disappointment is overwhelmin tt it hurts more the the excitement n joy i look forward to seein u. sometimes all i nd is jus a kiss or a hug filled with the feelings of missing someone dearly-- like a long hug. jus tt simple. sometimes ur body language can tell how much u miss a person. ur body language is far more powerful than any words.
maybe ultimately i jus wanna ask u:
Are u still with me?
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# Martin
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